Manipulate or Perish

What do we live for? Love, career, relations, passion, respect, recognition… or just like that!
There are various reasons for which people live. Some live for themselves, some live for others; and there are some who are made to live by others. That’s a rather complicated one.

Going back to my reflection of life sometimes back, where I was forced to observe relations as selfish means to satisfy such relationships’ requirements, I once again reinforce my understandings. I am sure, not all people are as unfortunate or fortunate like me - either they have never tasted such salty relations, or they have been burdened to live a life manipulated by others – but, sadly, there are quite a few.

I live in a man’s world. Though as an independent, self reliant woman of toady, I would feel ashamed to accept such a scenario, but that’s the fact. And such men in my world are not only my father, brother, uncle, boyfriends, colleagues, relatives, neighbor or business associates, but also my mother, sisters, girl friends, etc. I told you – it’s rather complicated. These women in my life are creating a fiasco in my world not because that’s what they want to do, but simply because their entire existence have made them believe that you live for your men – so if that means acting selfish even with your daughter, son or the neighbor, be it so! I have seen mothers with differentiated treatments towards their son or daughter depending on who earns more at a given point of time. That’s not strange, that has simply made me accept lots of things in my life. And at the same time challenge quite a few.

Let’s get back to those few who are made to live by others. But why do they do so? Reasons could be many - to be appreciated, to be accepted, to get attention, love, care, etc. Certainly such acts are not considered the smartest of one’s act for the simple reason that when she lets others manipulate her life, that other is doing so only for their own benefits. Therefore, there cannot be appreciation, acceptance, love, care etc; but more manipulation, more self pity and more trying-too-hard.

To go back a step further, how does this start happening? Aha! That’s an interesting one. It simply happens when one person passes on his troubles and problems to another and then simply sits, cribs and enjoys the other person’s situation – a poor fellow burdened with the problems of her own life and that of others! How silly! She deserves to be manipulated.

Black Super Hero! Obama Makes the difference!

I was wondering why there was never a black Super Hero – from days when I was a kid and was growing up reading Phantom, Mandrek, Flash Gordon, Super Man, etc, until today (my nephew plays with lots of miniature Super heroes, I don’t even know the names of half of them!) I don’t seem to have come across a real Black Super Hero!


I was thinking about this yesterday when I went to watch a movie in Inox. Well, the idea came to my mind when the theatre was showing some previews of their upcoming movies. One such movie is about a man who has immense power and can do all such things which all super heroes have done innumerable times to save our life and this world.

What intrigued me was the actor, or rather the choice of the actor - the versatile Will Smith. Well, well, I thought - is this the first time that a black has been given the power of a super hero by the Hollywood veterans?

If Keanu Reeves is considered a Super Hero in Matrix, he has an interesting ethnicity - one-quarter each of Chinese, Portuguese, Hawaiian and English. If Halle Berry’s ‘Cat Woman’ is taken as a Super Hero character, please note that her mother is a Caucasian, while her father is an Afro-American! Therefore, no real Black Super Hero...

While reading through today’s newspaper, I came across a news where Angelina Jolie has complained about the absence of any known / new fariy tale with a black princess’ story. She was particularly concerned about her black and brown daughters who are now reaching that reading age and has started asking question why the princess in their story books don’t look like them!

This made me wonder more. Why is this new super human (read super hero) movie with Will Smith? Why now? Why it was not done, say, 10 years back?


I don’t know if it’s ‘inspired’ or ‘encouraged’, but Barack Obama, it seems, has already started to change the rule of game. And I am, among every body else is waiting for a real change to happen... Let it begin

Shut Up you Jealous Folks!

As a single woman living in a big city, I face this question (or a variation of this) quite often:
“You don’t have a boy friend! You don’t feel lonely?” Initially I tried to explain that I don’t need a boyfriend to not to feel lonely, or I may still feel lonely even if I have a boy friend. But then as the course of the conversation would progress and the number of times it happened with me, I realized, its not my loneliness or the lack of a ‘boy friend’ in my life that these people are worried about; the main question that they want to ask, but cant ask me directly is “how often do I have sex” or “how do I satisfy my sexual needs!”

As I slowly got to realize the main interest behind people’s sympathized face for my loneliness, it made me mad initially. Then it made me laugh quite a bit to myself.
Women & Men, however, react differently.

If it’s a woman, she, unless she is a single too, will look at me disbelievingly with her eyes clearly telling me “who do you think you are fooling?”. But, luckily for me or for them, they leave it at that and don’t proceed further with their inquisitiveness.

With men there are two kinds of reactions:
Either the man becomes so sympathetic with my ‘pathetic loneliness’, that he is up and ready immediately to curb such a situation by ‘offering’ to sleep with me. No, this is not done so indiscreetly, but trust me they suddenly become so ‘kind’ and ‘understanding’, that even a child can clearly understand how much he is ready to ‘sacrifice’ himself just to make sure, I don’t feel lonely for that precise 11 minutes.

The second kinds are even smarter. First they will ask me “how is it possible that an attractive woman like you do not have a boy friend!” Then, when they don’t get any more answers or ‘explanations’ as they would like to get, they say “but last time when we met, you told me about that married guy you met”; or , “I remember you telling me that you met someone in that party thrown by your friends!”

Wah! Wah! Wouldn’t they have been better being in the law profession or written exams for IPS? Man! They would have really made the hardest core of criminals confess their crimes. What a loss !!!

Interestingly, no one has yet made any comments about me being a lesbian. But may be soon, I will hear that too. But that’s ok. As a rebellious girl child of a middle class Bengali family, I have chosen to lead an unconventional life strictly as per my principles and values in life. So, there is no way that I will be bothered about petty jealousies by people who couldn’t dare to live their own life. Sorry folks. Try some one else…

A big City, A single Lady and no Curd Rice

As an aftermath to my year old accident, my knee has suddenly given up. And since limping is not such a good sight for my perceived image to the outside world, and being forced by the unbearable pain that has come as part of it, I decided to go and seek a doctor’s advice.

It was a noble decision, one would think, and so did I, when just after couple of days of physiotherapy and medicine I was again able to take my baby steps one at a time. But how optimistic I was about my speedy recovery! It just took me these exact 3 days to understand that it was not just medicine that is making me walk, it’s actually STRONG medicine that’s making me not to realize my pain. And it came with some extra - my stomach got thoroughly challenged with these medicines to the extent of almost giving up!

That’s how I started my day today. A few times in and out of my loo and I was already seeing butterflies.
Anyways, I still had to go to the clinic for the physiotherapy. So did I, though it was much later than my usual time of 9.30 AM.

When I finished with my session today, it was 2 PM. I suddenly realized I am terribly hungry. Having not eaten almost anything since morning, and given my delicate state of my stomach the only one thing I wanted to eat was some rice and curd!

Being already in Indiranagar, South Indies came to my mind – a nice, comfortable restaurant for all southern delicacies! So I call them up, make a reservation for myself, and yappiee I was ready to have my curd and rice, oops, curd rice.

You think it was that easy? Hang on then.

I reach my fav joint in next 10 minutes and wait for the manager to show me a place to sit. He comes in about 5 min, asks me if I had made a reservation and then politely tells me to wait some more. He comes back quick and suggests that I should go for the Ala Carta upstairs and not the Buffet they were serving on the ground floor. Since I was not to climb stairs as per the doctor’s advice, I chose to go for the buffet (hoping I will get my much desired curd rice there). He makes me sit outside once again telling me he is looking for a place and goes hiding inside.

Few minutes later, a girl, nicely draped in a saree makes a smiling appearance. The Manager gets out, calls the girl and tell her in very clear voice – “there is a single lady sitting outside. She wants to take the buffet. Talk to her and make her sit out side” and he disappears again.

“Make her sit outside” !!! Is that the way a guest is treated in a restaurant? The girl was visibly embarrassed, not yet baked or fried in this profession, seeing me hearing all that her manager has told her. When she comes to me with the order, I let her know of my desire – to walk out and go home.

So much for my curd rice!!!

Bangalore New Airport - Whats the big Hulla!

Whenever I go back home to Kolkata, I travel 30 Km to reach home, not because I stay away from the city, but because the airport was built a long time ago outside the city to avoid congestion. Even in NOIDA, people will still continue travelling through IG Intl Airport in Delhi, some 25-30 KM away, until they get their own. So, is the case in Ahmedabad, Pune or even Chennai, where people from, say, Ambattur have to travel a good 20- 25 Km to reach the airport. Mumbai is the only exception (or is it?)

So, whats the big deal with Bangalore new airport to be away from the city? Seriously, I am not sure. Is it bad to have a nice, big international standard airport with un-congested runways, plenty of baggage belts, better toilets (those in HAL doesnt need introduction!!) and social infrastructure etc? (there are plenty of other reasons, i am sure)

I guess the answer is NO. Then why is such a Hulla about it? So much politically correct statements from all industry leaders, and from someone who suddenly became a Leader of the Nation through a reality show! (gimme a break!)

Yes. I agree people will have trouble to travel to such a long distance. And that's because
1. they are used to a city centre airport for ages ( a luxury!), &
2. Bangaloreans are not used to travel long distance - here people change homes based on where they work.

So what is it that we should be concerned about (strictly as per me)?
WE SHOULD BE CONCERNED ABOUT HOW WE IMPROVE CONNECTIVITY FROM DIFF CITY POINTS TO THE AIRPORT.
And, this is where we need a task force. We really need to put all our collective intelligent brains together to find that solution. Volvo buses is just one option and its rather complicated, given their timings and those of host of domestic and international flights in all hours of the day - how does one travel to airport when she has to take a flight at 2 AM? I am sure there wont be any Volvo running at that time!

Lets start doing it NOW! we have only 2 days to find a solution !!!

Ok! I am back

I have been away for a long long time, so long that I missed this place so much! Its not because I didnt have anything to write - infact I had so much to write - I was just too busy in managing some other parts of my life. But how is it possible that I stop seeing beyond my tinted glass? I need to, always.

And therefore, I am here once again

Tit for tat!

I have been on the bed for the last 3 days. My back has given up on me at last and has gone on a strike; the punishment bestowed on me for ignoring the signals of trouble for quite sometimes now. I have been taught a lesson.

It made me wondering. How nice it would be to replicate this act of vengeance in our personal life! ‘You don’t listen to me! Now see!!’ types. Lols and some more lols. Hmmn. I am already day dreaming.

There will be plenty of things (read people!) on which I will love to use this tit-for-tat thing, just for fun, and to see how they cope up with them. It will be real fun.

It will also be a reminder that people cannot be taken for granted, whatever be the relation. Value them and you get yourself respected in return. Treat them bad, and God save your soul.
What do you think a world would be like if this is practiced? Of course, I am not talking about the Osama & Bush kind of conflict. I am merely suggesting a scenario of tit-for-tat in our daily domestic life. Will it be more selfish life than now? Or, will it create a sense of fear and loss to stimulate better relationship management? I am not sure. Any takers?

Metro is coming to Bangalore!

Wow! Must be a good news for all Bangalorians. Ok, so let me find out what do they (including me, of course) think.

“My office is 6 km from my home and I pay around Rs.36 to Rs.40 every day. Today I traveled 10 Km and paid Rs.60! I hope my company raises my salary proportionately!”

“The distance I used to cover in 20 min, now takes me almost an hour. What the heck!”

“My fuel expense is going for a toss!”

“Dude! I am ready to leave Bangalore!”

“…but you do have to take some troubles, if you wanna live better!”

“Gosh! I heard it’s gonna take 3-4 years to complete! Why cant our Govt. plan before hand?”

Yes. That’s a US$ 1 Trillion (Rs.41,00,000) question. Anyone to answer?

The Blessings of Silence

I got this in my mail from an on-line Self enrichment group.... I simply loved it. So I copy it here for you:

"We all feel awkward when faced with the most difficult situations in life like a friend's grief on the loss of a loved one or a diagnosis of cancer to someone you know or even a relative's shocking affair. Your first thought would be to try and think of something to say. Some even get tongue-tied trying to come up with some advice. But you know what you can do better? Keep quiet.

Imagine your friend as a tea kettle that's about to boil. What they're feeling is so confusing that a smallest thing might unbalance whatever semblance of control they have. Remember that everyone at this heightened level of emotion already had all the scenarios played out in their heads even before they came to you. Talking about it is just a way for them to get out the most important of all questions: "what happens now?" Variations of which are: "how do I go on without him?"; "what would I do with the house?"; "how do I tell the kids?"; "what will I do?" etc. Coming to you was their way of slowly coming to terms with the shock of the situation - it happened and much as they wish it never did, the deed was done. And since what they have on their mind is as confusing as a 10,000 piece jigsaw puzzle, they want to work out the pieces in their proper slot with someone who won't judge them. That's when silence becomes a gift. When you give them silence, it's like permission for them to express their most profound fears or guilt and somehow, that simple action can make them realize that it's not as bad as it seems. Some even find brilliant solutions to their problems all on their own.


So let them talk it out and offer very little comments - even if in the middle of their ramblings you find yourself wanting to jump in with a remark or two. Even if you have been in the same situation as what they're in right now - everybody's problems are different and what worked for you might not work for them. Wait for them to ask you for advice and speak from your experience. Gently remind them though that you don't guarantee its effectiveness or lack thereof. But assure them that you'll be there for them whatever happens.

Bless a frantic heart with silence. Most of the time, a touch, a hug and a listening ear are what they needed more than any other action or pep talk. That just might be the only thing they need."

Happy Reading!

Susmita

The Life After

Its been a while since I penned something.

Life has been busy, chaotic, boring and tiring.

I sometimes wonder when we can stop for a moment, take a fresh breathe, enjoy our life and then again move forward. Doesn’t seem like it can ever happen again…

One of my friends pushed me to Art of Living Course sometimes back. The skeptical that I am, was complaining all through the journey from home to the ashram. My friend was sitting patiently next to me with a smile in his lips… I was getting even more annoyed.

By the time I came back, my life had changed…

How that can be possible? I am not sure. But I know some miracle has happened somewhere in my life.

How do I thank my friend who pushed me into this? How much thanks will be enough for what he has done?

I agree with you Mr. Ansari

And I thought I was living in a democratic country!

Mr. Iqbal Ansari is seriously surprised “I am surprised at the hue and cry. As a society, it is our duty to protect women…what is wrong with that?”

Nothing wrong Mr. Ansari, other than this that your thinking is just too funny!

There is a saying in Bengali ‘eating food on the floor, because you are upset at the thief (who has stolen your utensils)’! And I have been thinking about this since the time I read Mr. Ansari’s comment in the newspaper and laughing to my heart’s content. Let me add here, I was even joined in my impromptu laughter schedule by a few friends who actually called me up on my mobile phone to convey their dismay!

So much for political amusement!

Ok, let me understand these properly:

1. Does protecting women mean keeping them inside the house and locking them behind bars, because there are some sub-human animals prying on the road?

(Gimme a Break, Dude!)

2. There is another way of course, like wearing a burqa or something, and get covered completely from head to toe, so that the woman doesn’t attract a man’s attention on the road and lure him to jump on her. But, there is a problem too. Even such burqa clad women get raped, assaulted or murdered?

(You don’t believe me? Read it here : http://www.themodernreligion.com/women/w_harassmuslims.htm)


So, we are back to square one. And what is the option left now? Very simple!

Come out with a law where woman will not be allowed to work, go out of their homes or show their faces, because protecting a woman is no more protecting them from the lunatics of the world but protecting them from turning a man into a lunatic. At the end of the day, it’s the woman who induces such behavior towards her. Right? (See, we have learnt the basics so fast!)


And yes, that way our police force can concentrate on more important jobs – like killing a few ‘criminals’ in some cross-country encounters…


Jai Hind!

For you...

Is a punctured soul better than a punctured heart? A man perhaps loses his identity when a soul is pierced. With the punctured heart, he loses himself…

Vision

“Relations are not fragile, but its the capacity of the heart to take the hit, or the mind to understand why. Sometimes when we reach the brim, it only takes either a push -to fall into the deep dark water, or a pull - towards the sunshine"


“Whenever u hurt me, I get stronger. Do me this favor and make me even more strong.”


“Life is like the sand in your hand. Hold the sand tightly in your hand and don’t let it slip. Else, hold something else.”

Women Empowerment & Dowry

I went to a friend’s marriage some time back. And I was surprised to find that my friend has taken so many things in dowry, including a car. He works with one of the top software companies in Bangalore, and is from a reasonably well to do family. He is an engineer, and also an MBA.

I was surprised.

I was more surprised when I saw that the girl, whom he married, is highly educated, also works with another leading s/w company, and is much higher than my friend in social standing. I can safely say, if my friend’s background is modest, her’s is upscale.

So, why would someone like her pay dowry and marry a man like my friend? I was rather intrigued.

Now, that they are married, I have the answers.

In my friend’s house, his wife has the last word. And my friend obediently follows whatever she says, and makes sure that even his parents also abide by them.

I was amused now.


But why not? When she has paid money to get married, she has actually ‘bought’ the groom for her. If that is the case, she has to be the master, and he and his family are then bound to listen to all that she says!!!



Jindabad Women Power!!! I only hope that in all Indian families where dowry is given, the girls understand what power they get by doing it. May be then this age old dirty ‘tradition’ will come to an end.

Food for Thought

If we have brains, why don’t we use it!

The Other side of India Shining!

1. On March 9, the UN Committee on the Elimination of Racial Discrimination (CERD) issued its Concluding Observations regarding India’s compliance with the International Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Racial Discrimination. The Committee’s report found that “de facto segregation of Dalits persists” and highlighted systematic abuse against Dalits including torture and extrajudicial killings, an “alarming” extent of sexual violence against Dalit women, and caste discrimination in post-tsunami relief.


The report also documents routine violations of Dalits’ right to life and security of person through state-sponsored or sanctioned acts of violence, including torture. Dalit women face multiple forms of discrimination and are frequent targets of sexual abuse. State and private actors enjoy virtual impunity for these crimes.

2. New York-based Human Rights Watch said more than 165 million Dalits -- once known as untouchables -- were "condemned to a lifetime of abuse simply because of their caste".
"Dalits endure segregation in housing, schools, and access to public services," the report titled "Hidden Apartheid: Caste Discrimination against India's Untouchables" said "They are denied access to land, forced to work in degrading conditions and routinely abused at the hands of the police and upper-caste community members who enjoy the state's protection."
The report detailed specific instances of abuse. It said Dalits were still forced to perform jobs considered too "polluting" for others -- 1.3 million dalits, mostly women, were employed to remove human waste from pit latrines manually.
Dalits make up around 160 million of mainly Hindu India's 1.1-billion population.
… by Reuters

3. Presently in India, more than 70% of Christians are Dalits. – Outlook, India



Why is it that India doesn’t seem to bother about an issue, which even international communities have pointed fingers to?

We may ask, of course to America if they forgot the horrible treatment they meted out to their Black slaves! And look at the condition of their own poor black people today, as seen recently during the New Orleans Katrina cyclone.

But, let’s put that question aside. I don’t believe that since America did something wrong once, we can still continue doing that. For that matter, they, as a nation had accepted this as a problem, and had put in laws and legislations to stop or fight the issue.

So, what does India do? They brush the subject and push it below the Kashmiri carpet in a cozy air-conditioned living room of a healthy wealthy socialite.

And why am I bothered? As I wrote in my last post, I love my India…but I don’t see it shining.


Ok, so let’s read this:

1. The Indian Express on 27th March 2007 reports – “A Dalit village in Tirunelveli (TN) got restoration of bus service after 11 years, thanks to the Madras High Court’s order which also directed the police to give adequate protection for operating the buses.”

2. "The Dalit is not only forbidden to enter the home of a Brahmin but he must also not draw water from the same well, nor eat from the same pot or plate. He must not glance at or allow his shadow to fall on the Brahmin. All these acts will pollute the 'pure' Brahmin. The Dalit 'is not only Untouchable, but also Unseeable, Unapproachable, Unshadowable and even Unthinkable', writes by V.T. Rajshekar in his book DALIT: THE BLACK UNTOUCHABLES OF INDIA.
(V.T. RAJSHEKAR is recognized worldwide as one of India's foremost human rights activists and a spokesperson for the Indian Dalits)

Let me give you a personal example:

I was a guest with a family in Vizag (rated one of the up-coming cities in India). There the utensils are washed by a maid, but someone from the house puts them in a small little place away from the house, where the maid is allowed to come, sit and do the cleaning. After that, she puts them in a big container and leaves that near the kitchen door (outside the house). Now, the lady of the house will take a bucket of water and throw that into the container containing the cleaned utensils. After she is sure that the utensils are now purified, she then takes the container inside.

The maid is never allowed to enter the house, and she literally catches the food at the end of her work, which is thrown to her from the kitchen door by my hostess.

After seeing this for a couple of days, I asked the lady of the house why she did that. Not only was she very surprised with my question, she also thought I came from an uncultured family without proper values.

Just to note here, the 3 children that this lady has, one is a school principal, the second works with IBM and the 3rd is a Major with the Indian Army. And no one seems to have any problem with this exercise going on since ever.


I have a few questions.

1. What is it that we, the ‘enlightened, knowledgeable’ ones, the so-called Future of India, the ones who are aware of all our democratic rights, doing about it?

2. Why is it that 70% of dalits are Christians? Is it because Hinduism is too insensitive, or that Christianity too accommodating?


3. Is this issue less important than say a Nandigram, or a Puducherry?

4. Or, are we all those real son-of-a- …. who pretend to be concerned but at the same time cannot think of letting go the comfort of having someone cleaning our shits?

I know no one would be comfortable giving the answers; but can we please start with asking the right questions?

I love India – and it’s a cliché!

The other day a friend of mine asked me post lunch what food I had for lunch. Very proudly I said its rajma and chawal (because I had cooked it myself). My friend says “oh! It must be some food from Bengal!”

Was he kidding? Absolutely no, I realized. He definitely had no clue about rajma (and also chawal). Then I realized, he is from Kerala, and that was the first time that he heard of some ‘foreign’ edible (???) object called ‘rajma’!

But I felt bad, not because he doesn’t know about ‘rajma’ but because he knows so much about everything else. He is an authority on Ayan Rand, he has a blog where he discusses about the legal issues in USA on certain specific areas, and debates about spirituality, humanity and other heavily loaded stuff effortlessly.

So, may be I had high expectations of him. May be I expected that perhaps a bright kid like him should have little bigger perspective in life than his daily dose of rice and avyaal.

No, I am not stereotyping. Neither am I trying to point my blunt finger towards a dear friend of mine.

Let me ask a similar and simple question – does any one, up north of the Vindyas, know what are Appams & Idiappams? Frankly, I have been disgusted to see and hear from so many so called ‘educated’ people from the north -‘Woh Madrasi hai, bas idli dosa khata hai’ while talking about say a Telegu or a Kanada or even a Malayalee. My God! - Does any one know that they also exist in Southern India and are not ‘Madrasis’ !!!

Ok! You must be thinking that’s all history. We all know so much about each other. Rite? Wrong!!! Can you tell me how many states are there in North-East India? What are their languages? What are their state capitals?

You know! Great! Then why do you call them ‘Chinkies’ ????


I love my country! I am proud of them! A country where all people living in 4 southern states are called ‘Madrasi’, where we are not ashamed to call our fellow Indians ‘Chinkies’ because of their oriental looks, where a Tamil Brahmin will only give a job to another Tamil Brahmin and not to a Sardar, though the Sardar is more qualified for the job, where we all celebrate with so much enthusiasm the English New Year Day, but have no idea of what a Baishaki, Navabarsha, or Ugadi is!


Oh shit! I must be a crack pot… Don’t I know that India is progressing? And everyone is happily emerged in that euphoria. So why care about a fellow Marathi, a Coorgi, a Kumayuni, a Khasi, or an Asamese? Lets talk China, Germany, Brazil, Russia, EU…. Or simply USA, USA, USA…..

The conversation

“Is it ok to trust someone Ma?” the little girl asked her mother.
“What made you ask this question?” the mother asked.
“I trusted my best friend Sukanya and gave her my favorite game. But she lost it!” said the little girl with sadness in her eyes.
The mother smiles. “That’s ok, honey. You didn’t do anything wrong. You trusted your friend. She lost your game because she is yet to learn how to keep others’ trust. But she will learn. So, be happy”.
The little girl looks up at her mother. Happy and contented she rushes towards the play ground.


Fifteen years later…

The little girl is now grown–up and have just started to work. One day after her work she comes home rather depressed. She goes into her room, throws her bag and plunges into the bed and the room’s darkness.

“that’s not usual!” her mother thinks. “She is always full of energy and lots of stories when she is back from her work!” – she enters her daughter’s room wondering what might have happened today.

“is there something bothering you today, honey” her mother sits down next her and slowly shuffles her daughter’s hair.
“Mama, u remember u told me one day long time back that its ok to trust others? And that I should be happy if I could do that?” she puts her head on her mother’s lap, her mother always smells so fresh to her.

“Yes, I do. But what makes you remember that suddenly? Anything happened”? her mother gets concerned now…her daughter is no more a 6 year old child!
“you know my friend from the collage? Udai?” she asks in a trailing voice.
“Yes, he was not getting any job for a long time, though he did brilliantly in studies. Are you talking about him?” her mother tries to hide her emotions with a calm voice.
“Yes. I gave his resume to my Boss and requested her to see if she could help. That was 6 months back. And you know, Udai actually got the job. I was so happy for him. He also came to me and thanked me so much…I was actually feeling embarrassed.” the daughter stops to take breathe.

Moments pass as if hours…her mother too scared to ask any questions, and the daughter too hurt to express her thoughts. At last she breaks silence.

“Today my boss called me at her office. She told me that Udai has been talking about me. All kinds of things…things which are not very good to hear, and which are not true. Others in the office has come and told this to my Boss. She wanted to know why is Udai doing this.” She stops again, perhaps to make herself believe what she was saying.
“I didn’t know what to say. I was so shocked. Then my boss gave me an advice – never to trust people unless and until I am absolutely sure!”

She sits up now on the bed and looks straight into her mother’s eyes. “I am confused. Was I wrong helping my friend, or it would be right if I don’t trust anyone henceforth?”


“Oh!” her mother thinks to her herself, visibly relaxed, but thoroughly pained seeing how much her daughter was hurt with the incident.

“Listen honey!” she hugs her dear daughter warmly as if trying to protect her from all the adversities of the out-side world. She is 21 years old, but her mother knew her daughter is still too naïve for the world.

“you are 21 years now. And you are working. You know I have always wanted you to take your own decisions and take full responsibilities of them. But let me tell you something from my own experience. We don’t live for the future or the past. We live only for the present and we dream for the future while living in the present. So, at the end of each day what we want is a nice peaceful sleep, so that our dreams for the future are always bright.” She gathers her thoughts together and continues “So, on any day if you find that you are unable to get a peaceful sleep or your dreams are breaking up, wake up and think what you have done that day. Is there something that you did that day which you knew in your heart you should not have done? A wrong act? A wrong decision?” she stops again for a moment.

“And that is what you should be worried about. Are you true to yourself? If yes, don’t worry what others say about you or what they think; because they are not the ones who are going to dream your dreams.”

The daughter looks at her mother for a long moment and gives her a bear hug. She makes up her mind – whatever happens she will never stop dreaming.

Dabba! Or…

I was waiting for my Volvo Bus one Sunday afternoon. And it came. I wanted to go to Kundanahalli and asked for the ticket. With a smile the conductor told me “nehi jayega. Pls get down at Graphite India”. Why? I was lost…oh! Yes, the over-bridge is being constructed and roads are closed!!!

The conductor looks at me and understands what I was thinking. He offers help “graphite India se Dabba le lena…”

Dabba? What is that? He smiles at his own joke; “auto rickshaw” he confirms with a twinkle in his eyes…


Hmmn… I guess a Volvo bus conductor can call an auto rickshaw a dabba!!!

This is not a Poem

He is the one who loves me the most
He is the one who fights with me the hardest
He is the one who listens to all my nonsense
He is the one who lends me his shoulder when I need to cry

He shares my laughter, jokes and happiness
He fights with me in my crusade for justice
He smiles when I hurt him purposely
He opens up his arms when he sees me from a distance

He is there for the last 20 years in my life
He knows me better than I myself do
He waited for me patiently when I was partying with my friends
He expects nothing from our relation

He is good, kind and a darling
He is a “Dude’ and he laughs when I call him so
He is caring and knows his mind
He never called me a “Babe”

He stood by me in thick n thin
He stood by me when no one was there
He pushed me to be happy when I am sad
He pulled me down to earth when I was flying

He is the one who helped me grow better
He is the one who made me stronger
He is the one just right for me
He is the one who crowned me Princess…

He is my SOUL MATE


Many thanks my dear Blue, to show me so many hues of your color…without you I will be lost…