Memoirs of my Bangladesh trip is yet to be shared; while my mind is full of stories and happy and delightful experiences from there, I am just too occupied to gather myself together for the time required to pen down those thoughts. Not good!
However, there is something that has suddenly forced me to take up my pen, sorry the key board, and use them for my very personal purpose.
How do we feel when we lose something dear to our heart? Painful will be too mild a word to even begin to describe our feelings. And when we lose something in spite of our best intention of keeping them with us or making ourselves available around these things - it might end up giving us a sense of shock or disbelieve.
Take for example friends. Sometimes we end up giving so much to a friend and then suddenly one fine day, we realize that our relationship was too fragile to last even a commotion in our noisy, day 2 day life. It gets us wonder whether it was friendship in the first place! Friends are supposed to be there irrespective of what or how we are and how vigorously we might fight over some non issue!
Or, maybe there are selfish motives behind this sudden fragility of the relation – it now requires the relation to be over.At least for me, it makes me suspicious of myself - of my capabilities to be a friend, to hold on to a relation, or to my inabilities to understand the basic human character.
Can we love someone so much that we end up hating them? Is the reverse possible? Can we just not care about something at all and then end up loathing them like hell as well? Why everything has to be so negative? Why everything tends to end with a failure.
Yes, there is always a cause-and-effect relationship for everything, but then who decides what’s the cause and if that’s the justified effect?
Someone very dear to me is causing me hurt, he made me shed tears and feel helpless. I was very sad when it first happened. Then I grew confused. Now I am quite sure why he is doing this.
Dear friend, you just had to tell me “Shut up! And Go!”. There were no needs for this long foreplay to push me away!
But, anyway, whatever …
