Everyday morning I get up at 6.30 am. The first thing that I do once I leave my bed is to switch on the geyser. Then I slowly move towards the kitchen put some water on boil and prepare my cup of tea…trying to kick myself to complete awakeness…
By 7:35 I get ready, grab my breakfast, lock the door and rush towards the bus stop…I need to get into the 7.45 bus to reach my office on time on a week day; on Saturdays, I can have the leisure of choosing between the 8:10 or the 8:30 bus! (I can’t complain though – its one of those few Volvo buses who do us the honor of picking us up whenever they feel so)
By the time I get back home after the entire day’s ordeal it’s almost 9:45 at night. Now I need to prepare my dinner, wash my clothes left in the morning and then with a book at my side, I plunge in to my bed…the book at most times, remain untouched.
Saturdays are fun! I go to the shop – to buy my weekly rations of milk, cornflakes, bread, fruits and any other thing that grabs my fancy for the moment. I hurry back, fix myself a drink or two, watch a movie on the television, make some dinner for myself (the quick fix types) and feeling euphoric to finish one more week in life go for an unhurried sleep to welcome the Sunday.
So, what’s wrong with this? Nothing if you look from the surface. I have no family to take care of, no rules to play by, or no one to ask me questions…I am the Boss of my life.
Or am I?
But then, I don’t have any friends, I don’t get time to indulge in any of my passions, I hardly travel to other places any more and I don’t have any body to talk to once I open my door to my house everyday at night. I know I am saving my life by not talking much during the day, but I am killing myself with loneliness otherwise…
The other day a long-distance friend asked me a strange question “Susmita, are you happy?” It made me thinking. Though my answer to him was “Happiness is a state of mind, and so whenever I can condition my mind to happiness I am happy”; but it’s not entirely true…we need the right recipe to condition ourselves to happiness also!
It’s a major dilemma in life. The life I lead is chosen by me and I don’t complain. And I know like me there are many other men n women who are confused with their life and about its meaning. But the hitch remains…the sleep is not undisturbed, the mornings not inviting and meaning to live still lost somewhere in the chaos of life’s circus.
2 comments:
Imagine a painter seeking approval from a blind audience. Or a bunch of blind painters who do it among themselves. What about a writer selling himself short to cater to a wider audience betraying himself? A child teaching himself to read and displaying it in front of his parents who doesn’t recognize any value in it, a wife who quits her job to make her husband happy, or a girl who pretends stupidity to get a lover. Aren’t they all seeking happiness and friendship among in others which they will never find? I am not to argue against relationships as such. It’s cool to say one doesn’t care for others, but it is not so cool when one doesn’t have anyone to share his inner feelings with. Just pointing out the futility of pointless relationships. The only reliable source of happiness is once own achievement. Otherwise one would be just betting on the rationality of the irrational. Yet, have you noticed that most people substitute job satisfaction with prestige and relationships with social gatherings and public approval. There is of course, no substitute for both. If you go into a classroom of 50 teenagers, you can find all of them complaining of the same, loneliness. Why isn’t anyone doing anything about when just a bit of mutual understanding would do?1
Do you really want me to comment on such a thing...I know these state of mind for you and me doesn't stay for long so why waste web spaces:))enjoy life dear...enjoy it the way it is and don't bother about deeper intricacies of it. Then you'll take yourself into deeper problems. This is a good one though, but I personally don't expect this from you. Stay happy....and you need to be for yourself only, not for any damn person on this earth.
Cheer Up Lady...Live Life to the Fullest
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