Delhi Once Again

Delhi was never my choicest destination, except this time. I guess it also depends why you are there and with whom. When I was intimated that I had to go to Delhi for couple of days, it was more of “not there” attitude than anything else. I had lived there for about 7-8 months once and then visited there quite often; but I never really got fond of it. And there were no fond memories there as well.

It was a bright sunny Monday morning when I landed in Delhi. The sky was clear, weather awesome, and people in a chilled out festive mood. From the airport, my first destination was Bengali Market, where I love to indulge in those yummy aloo tikki and lassi. Having dumped my luggage in the hotel and after a quick bath, it was time for some work. But as soon as I finished with my work, I headed straight to the Khan Market and my eyes where greeted with fresh green vegetables and fruits and then lots and lots of Christmas tit bits – it was all red and green every where.

But hang on, that’s not the end of it at Khan Market. How can one resist Khan Chacha’s mutton tikki role? Ummnnn… its still melting in my mouth…
There is something that is very interesting that I saw in Delhi this time (yes, I insist on this time). All stray dogs (my father lovingly calls them Roadasians), were wearing warm clothes. I saw that all over Delhi. In Fact, in some places, I even saw some mattresses kept on the footpaths where dogs take shelter at night. Pretty amazing.

Hmmn… what I got from there? Wanted to buy some woolens and a nice warm jacket. But ended up buying a box full of strawberries, cherries, and a big plum cake. Just imagine that!

Today we are all Mumbaikars, Tomorrow lets all be Indians

Yesterday was my birthday, and it was one of my first in Kolkata in many years. My friends had planned for a big celebration, a party and lots of fun. But it was a unanimous decision to cancel the celebration by all of us. Simply we didn’t feel like having fun. We didn’t feel like celebrating.

It’s not about me alone or my friends. It’s not about Kolkata also. I got a feeling talking to people around the country how shocked, angry, sympathetic, and lost they are now feeling. In fact for some people, who since long time stopped thinking but only living their lives, they have taken a break too, to think. And that’s the silver lining I saw. It’s an unprecedented event that brought the entire nation together irrespective of their religion, region, caste or creed. And it has brought them together against one big fat enemy – the power sucking politicians. (I was aghast to see Narindra Modi visiting the Trident and making that speech!)

Terrorism is a day to day affair now. It can happen anywhere, at any time. It can affect any one of us now. We are scared. We are skeptical. We are horrified. But we are united too – in pain, in courage, in support, in emotion. We, however, know that terrorism is something that we can fight staying united. We, however, don’t know if we can fight irresponsible and selfish men at power (or seeking to be at power) or trust them with our lives anymore. But it gives me a strange feeling in the corner of my heart, that today, when 1 Billion people stand together as Mumbaikars, tomorrow we can all stand tall as Indians – against terrorism and people who showed they never cared.

Leaving emotions aside, it has now become important that we, as common citizens of India, be more responsible for ourselves and other people around us. We need to be alert, helpful and cooperative. Let’s not wait until the gun is fired at my family, let’s jump when it is aimed at my neighbor too.

Suheil Seth, on a TV Channel, had said something important – “We want to be first world country, but we are third world in mentality”. I am sure he said that out of sheer exasperation. And I share his emotion. However, somehow as I said earlier, I get a feeling, that we have, over the last 61 hours reached our “Chakde India” state. And that’s all first world…

Mr. Raj Thakrey, Welcome Home!

This time Diwali bought some mixed feelings to me. Of course, I was at Kolkata for Diwali after a long long time, and managed to light some diyas and burst some crackers at Kolkata, but a few incidents here and there put me in a rather thought full mode.

No. 1 was of course the killing of Rahul Raj and the shameless face of Raj Thakrey. I wouldn’t consider Raj Thakrey to be any kind of a political leader or any body for that matter, and I know he and his party is up to some mindless trick with the local people on issues that are non existent. However, given the fact, it has managed to trigger reactions from otherwise quite studious young men like Rahul Raj, who unnecessarily gave his life in the whole drama.
I have a few questions bothering me on this. Why did the Mumbai Police deploy such a big force against a “threatening” “criminal” who was scaring people with a country made pistol? The same police has so far, watched mutely, the beatings inflicted upon the poor “bhaiyas” by the MNS goons. Yes, of course there is more to this than meets the eye.

I was coming back to my home from my parent’s house the day after the diwali. Near my house, in a very modest neighborhood, there were these young slum dwellers who had organized a Kali Puja in their locality. Being lived in Chennai for 4 years, I was absolutely taken aback, when I heard the song “Appri pode” being played in the loudspeaker. “That’s a Tamil song!” I pointed out to my mother who was also with me. “So what?” she looked surprised…

I thought hard on this. For my mother who comes from an educated, liberal Bengali family, thinking like this was not surprising - we have grown up in such environment where every one is accepted at their own merit. But, for those who seem to have never gone to school, playing a Tamil song for one of their most important festivals, was surely something to think about.

In one of my earlier posts I had expressed my desire to import Mr. Raj Thakrey to Cuba. This time I think, I would like to invite him home.

Random thoughts 2

1. Came back to Kolkata after almost 9 years. It was a very hard decision; but it was something that I had to do; may be to prove to myself, if not to others, that I was not wrong. But somehow, I get a feeling that may be I should be proved wrong. Who knows what will that mean to me?

Got a pretty decent apartment in a not so decent locality. I will have to sacrifice my daily dose of Nestle Dehi, slim milk and Tropicana Apple Juice. Couldn’t believe myself when the next door grocer said he didn’t have eggs in stock! That was simply too much.
It was Durga puja time as well. Last year I was in Shantiniketan with my parents and bro during puja, this time I was at home with them and working all most full time. Not too bad either.

Somehow, I am not getting used to Kolkata anymore. It’s the same place that I had left 9 years back; and that’s exactly is the problem. It has not changed a bit, with the single exception of its population which seems to have increased in geometric progression. Sometimes, when I have tried to walk on the streets of Kolkata I almost felt I will run out of space to put my next foot. Where do all these people come from?

But pujo was different. I mean the days of the pujo. It’s such an awesome feeling. I was working till 3 AM on Astami morning, then slept for a few hours to get up and get ready on time for the ‘anjali’ on this special day. When I left home to go to my dad’s friend’s house where they were doing the pujo, it was such a beautiful morning. New clothes, warm greetings, clean roads, and a beautiful autumn sky made it the perfect pujo day. I loved it so much. But a big city like Kolkata cannot remain like that on every other day, and that’s a pity.


2. Falling in love was never too difficult for me, falling out of it was always that I had to force myself into. It’s hilarious at times. And I have very weired reasons to fall in love also! Like, I go head over heels with someone because I simply love the way he writes and that too without even seeing him in person, ever! This time it was very different though. I was with a very close friend of mine and we were at a disc. And he is a terrific dancer. When we were doing our salsa steps and he made me swing on the floor, I prayed to God, “Please, don’t make me fall for him!” But, when was it that God ever listened to lesser mortals like us!

Random Thoughts...

These are some random thoughts which came to my mind recently. Read them at your own risk.

1. I have a friend in Bangalore (originally from Kolkata, from the same school that I went to, and a Das Gupta!) who is a confirmed atheist. We were exchanging some rather harmless emails on certain weird business concept, when I got this opportunity to prick him on his non-beliefs. Interestingly after a few heated exchanges of emails, he got upset. Am wondering, is it because I showed doubts on his beliefs of non-beliefs or his non-beliefs of beliefs! Hmmn… confusing.

Hey! Don’t get mad at me!!! Just kidding.

2. Who the hell is this Raj Thackeray? I guess he has forgotten he lives in India and not in Maharastra! Democracy is so bad at times that it gives cynical and opportunists like him to act in whatever way they want to. I am thinking of gifting him a one-way ticket to either Cuba or China (see, I didn’t mention Middle East or Afghanistan or Pakistan!) and shall request their government to give him permanent residency. Any one here to pitch in and contribute towards the cost of ticket?

3. Love is rather funny, weird, interesting and very different from one person to person! I was dating this cute Italian guy who, one of these days, decided to pay a visit to my house. Now on the very same day my 20 year old teenager cousin was also present at my house. Sitting in my living room and expressing his emotions and feelings rather visibly towards me, he was almost about to pull me and kiss (not being too accustomed to Indian ways, I guess), when I shrieked and shouted and stopped him saying “my cousin is around”. It was amusing to see how his expression changed. He simply muttered “hmmn.. Don’t remember seeing any couple kissing each other in the streets of Bangalore!”

Now, exactly 5 days later my kid cousin went for a date (with a friend of mine). When both of them came back to my home just around midnight, I was in for a shock. That’s the first time these two had gone out together, and must have met hardly twice before. But that didn’t stop them from behaving like century old lovers, right in front of me or at my back! And their giggles and murmurs and what not kept me awake even in my bedroom until 4.30 in the morning!!!

And look at me? I let go of my Italian dude for ever :( I am not sure if I am more mad at them or at me!

A Full Circle

Being alone is not so easy. Its fun at times, it chilled and rocking too. It also gives a sense of freedom, a lightheartedness and lots of independence to chase your dreams. But what about all the tears, the sleepless nights, the drunken phase under the sky in the balcony, desperate search for a shoulder to lean on to, fear of losing sanity, no one to share little joys in life or someone to get you a medicine or bring you a cup of hot Darjeeling tea when you are not well?

There are plenty of strong women in this world, some are born strong, while others, like me, are forced to assume strength.

But there are times when small and rather innocent acts by others shake the very foundation of such strengths.

They say it’s so much great to love someone and to this I add, its so great to give your love away… simply letting your love slip away from your palm because that’s what he / she wants. Does such stupid but perceived “selfless” act makes one more strong? No, not until you have killed yourself 100 more times and walked on the path of fire… and it is exactly at these time you shed tears, spent sleepless nights, get drunk under the sky in your balcony and desperately look for a company just not to feel left alone in pain and darkness … until you once again pick up the strength, start feeling good, have fun, get chilled and rock the world…

It continues…

Manipulate or Perish

What do we live for? Love, career, relations, passion, respect, recognition… or just like that!
There are various reasons for which people live. Some live for themselves, some live for others; and there are some who are made to live by others. That’s a rather complicated one.

Going back to my reflection of life sometimes back, where I was forced to observe relations as selfish means to satisfy such relationships’ requirements, I once again reinforce my understandings. I am sure, not all people are as unfortunate or fortunate like me - either they have never tasted such salty relations, or they have been burdened to live a life manipulated by others – but, sadly, there are quite a few.

I live in a man’s world. Though as an independent, self reliant woman of toady, I would feel ashamed to accept such a scenario, but that’s the fact. And such men in my world are not only my father, brother, uncle, boyfriends, colleagues, relatives, neighbor or business associates, but also my mother, sisters, girl friends, etc. I told you – it’s rather complicated. These women in my life are creating a fiasco in my world not because that’s what they want to do, but simply because their entire existence have made them believe that you live for your men – so if that means acting selfish even with your daughter, son or the neighbor, be it so! I have seen mothers with differentiated treatments towards their son or daughter depending on who earns more at a given point of time. That’s not strange, that has simply made me accept lots of things in my life. And at the same time challenge quite a few.

Let’s get back to those few who are made to live by others. But why do they do so? Reasons could be many - to be appreciated, to be accepted, to get attention, love, care, etc. Certainly such acts are not considered the smartest of one’s act for the simple reason that when she lets others manipulate her life, that other is doing so only for their own benefits. Therefore, there cannot be appreciation, acceptance, love, care etc; but more manipulation, more self pity and more trying-too-hard.

To go back a step further, how does this start happening? Aha! That’s an interesting one. It simply happens when one person passes on his troubles and problems to another and then simply sits, cribs and enjoys the other person’s situation – a poor fellow burdened with the problems of her own life and that of others! How silly! She deserves to be manipulated.

Black Super Hero! Obama Makes the difference!

I was wondering why there was never a black Super Hero – from days when I was a kid and was growing up reading Phantom, Mandrek, Flash Gordon, Super Man, etc, until today (my nephew plays with lots of miniature Super heroes, I don’t even know the names of half of them!) I don’t seem to have come across a real Black Super Hero!


I was thinking about this yesterday when I went to watch a movie in Inox. Well, the idea came to my mind when the theatre was showing some previews of their upcoming movies. One such movie is about a man who has immense power and can do all such things which all super heroes have done innumerable times to save our life and this world.

What intrigued me was the actor, or rather the choice of the actor - the versatile Will Smith. Well, well, I thought - is this the first time that a black has been given the power of a super hero by the Hollywood veterans?

If Keanu Reeves is considered a Super Hero in Matrix, he has an interesting ethnicity - one-quarter each of Chinese, Portuguese, Hawaiian and English. If Halle Berry’s ‘Cat Woman’ is taken as a Super Hero character, please note that her mother is a Caucasian, while her father is an Afro-American! Therefore, no real Black Super Hero...

While reading through today’s newspaper, I came across a news where Angelina Jolie has complained about the absence of any known / new fariy tale with a black princess’ story. She was particularly concerned about her black and brown daughters who are now reaching that reading age and has started asking question why the princess in their story books don’t look like them!

This made me wonder more. Why is this new super human (read super hero) movie with Will Smith? Why now? Why it was not done, say, 10 years back?


I don’t know if it’s ‘inspired’ or ‘encouraged’, but Barack Obama, it seems, has already started to change the rule of game. And I am, among every body else is waiting for a real change to happen... Let it begin

Shut Up you Jealous Folks!

As a single woman living in a big city, I face this question (or a variation of this) quite often:
“You don’t have a boy friend! You don’t feel lonely?” Initially I tried to explain that I don’t need a boyfriend to not to feel lonely, or I may still feel lonely even if I have a boy friend. But then as the course of the conversation would progress and the number of times it happened with me, I realized, its not my loneliness or the lack of a ‘boy friend’ in my life that these people are worried about; the main question that they want to ask, but cant ask me directly is “how often do I have sex” or “how do I satisfy my sexual needs!”

As I slowly got to realize the main interest behind people’s sympathized face for my loneliness, it made me mad initially. Then it made me laugh quite a bit to myself.
Women & Men, however, react differently.

If it’s a woman, she, unless she is a single too, will look at me disbelievingly with her eyes clearly telling me “who do you think you are fooling?”. But, luckily for me or for them, they leave it at that and don’t proceed further with their inquisitiveness.

With men there are two kinds of reactions:
Either the man becomes so sympathetic with my ‘pathetic loneliness’, that he is up and ready immediately to curb such a situation by ‘offering’ to sleep with me. No, this is not done so indiscreetly, but trust me they suddenly become so ‘kind’ and ‘understanding’, that even a child can clearly understand how much he is ready to ‘sacrifice’ himself just to make sure, I don’t feel lonely for that precise 11 minutes.

The second kinds are even smarter. First they will ask me “how is it possible that an attractive woman like you do not have a boy friend!” Then, when they don’t get any more answers or ‘explanations’ as they would like to get, they say “but last time when we met, you told me about that married guy you met”; or , “I remember you telling me that you met someone in that party thrown by your friends!”

Wah! Wah! Wouldn’t they have been better being in the law profession or written exams for IPS? Man! They would have really made the hardest core of criminals confess their crimes. What a loss !!!

Interestingly, no one has yet made any comments about me being a lesbian. But may be soon, I will hear that too. But that’s ok. As a rebellious girl child of a middle class Bengali family, I have chosen to lead an unconventional life strictly as per my principles and values in life. So, there is no way that I will be bothered about petty jealousies by people who couldn’t dare to live their own life. Sorry folks. Try some one else…

A big City, A single Lady and no Curd Rice

As an aftermath to my year old accident, my knee has suddenly given up. And since limping is not such a good sight for my perceived image to the outside world, and being forced by the unbearable pain that has come as part of it, I decided to go and seek a doctor’s advice.

It was a noble decision, one would think, and so did I, when just after couple of days of physiotherapy and medicine I was again able to take my baby steps one at a time. But how optimistic I was about my speedy recovery! It just took me these exact 3 days to understand that it was not just medicine that is making me walk, it’s actually STRONG medicine that’s making me not to realize my pain. And it came with some extra - my stomach got thoroughly challenged with these medicines to the extent of almost giving up!

That’s how I started my day today. A few times in and out of my loo and I was already seeing butterflies.
Anyways, I still had to go to the clinic for the physiotherapy. So did I, though it was much later than my usual time of 9.30 AM.

When I finished with my session today, it was 2 PM. I suddenly realized I am terribly hungry. Having not eaten almost anything since morning, and given my delicate state of my stomach the only one thing I wanted to eat was some rice and curd!

Being already in Indiranagar, South Indies came to my mind – a nice, comfortable restaurant for all southern delicacies! So I call them up, make a reservation for myself, and yappiee I was ready to have my curd and rice, oops, curd rice.

You think it was that easy? Hang on then.

I reach my fav joint in next 10 minutes and wait for the manager to show me a place to sit. He comes in about 5 min, asks me if I had made a reservation and then politely tells me to wait some more. He comes back quick and suggests that I should go for the Ala Carta upstairs and not the Buffet they were serving on the ground floor. Since I was not to climb stairs as per the doctor’s advice, I chose to go for the buffet (hoping I will get my much desired curd rice there). He makes me sit outside once again telling me he is looking for a place and goes hiding inside.

Few minutes later, a girl, nicely draped in a saree makes a smiling appearance. The Manager gets out, calls the girl and tell her in very clear voice – “there is a single lady sitting outside. She wants to take the buffet. Talk to her and make her sit out side” and he disappears again.

“Make her sit outside” !!! Is that the way a guest is treated in a restaurant? The girl was visibly embarrassed, not yet baked or fried in this profession, seeing me hearing all that her manager has told her. When she comes to me with the order, I let her know of my desire – to walk out and go home.

So much for my curd rice!!!

Bangalore New Airport - Whats the big Hulla!

Whenever I go back home to Kolkata, I travel 30 Km to reach home, not because I stay away from the city, but because the airport was built a long time ago outside the city to avoid congestion. Even in NOIDA, people will still continue travelling through IG Intl Airport in Delhi, some 25-30 KM away, until they get their own. So, is the case in Ahmedabad, Pune or even Chennai, where people from, say, Ambattur have to travel a good 20- 25 Km to reach the airport. Mumbai is the only exception (or is it?)

So, whats the big deal with Bangalore new airport to be away from the city? Seriously, I am not sure. Is it bad to have a nice, big international standard airport with un-congested runways, plenty of baggage belts, better toilets (those in HAL doesnt need introduction!!) and social infrastructure etc? (there are plenty of other reasons, i am sure)

I guess the answer is NO. Then why is such a Hulla about it? So much politically correct statements from all industry leaders, and from someone who suddenly became a Leader of the Nation through a reality show! (gimme a break!)

Yes. I agree people will have trouble to travel to such a long distance. And that's because
1. they are used to a city centre airport for ages ( a luxury!), &
2. Bangaloreans are not used to travel long distance - here people change homes based on where they work.

So what is it that we should be concerned about (strictly as per me)?
WE SHOULD BE CONCERNED ABOUT HOW WE IMPROVE CONNECTIVITY FROM DIFF CITY POINTS TO THE AIRPORT.
And, this is where we need a task force. We really need to put all our collective intelligent brains together to find that solution. Volvo buses is just one option and its rather complicated, given their timings and those of host of domestic and international flights in all hours of the day - how does one travel to airport when she has to take a flight at 2 AM? I am sure there wont be any Volvo running at that time!

Lets start doing it NOW! we have only 2 days to find a solution !!!

Ok! I am back

I have been away for a long long time, so long that I missed this place so much! Its not because I didnt have anything to write - infact I had so much to write - I was just too busy in managing some other parts of my life. But how is it possible that I stop seeing beyond my tinted glass? I need to, always.

And therefore, I am here once again