He is the one who loves me the most
He is the one who fights with me the hardest
He is the one who listens to all my nonsense
He is the one who lends me his shoulder when I need to cry
He shares my laughter, jokes and happiness
He fights with me in my crusade for justice
He smiles when I hurt him purposely
He opens up his arms when he sees me from a distance
He is there for the last 20 years in my life
He knows me better than I myself do
He waited for me patiently when I was partying with my friends
He expects nothing from our relation
He is good, kind and a darling
He is a “Dude’ and he laughs when I call him so
He is caring and knows his mind
He never called me a “Babe”
He stood by me in thick n thin
He stood by me when no one was there
He pushed me to be happy when I am sad
He pulled me down to earth when I was flying
He is the one who helped me grow better
He is the one who made me stronger
He is the one just right for me
He is the one who crowned me Princess…
He is my SOUL MATE
Many thanks my dear Blue, to show me so many hues of your color…without you I will be lost…
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
And Happiness continues...
I fell in love the first time when I was 21. He was older than me by many years and was not-so-happily married. I found that out through my various interactions with him, and by the way he used to hide his sorrow in his smiles. He is the most dignified man I had ever met and though, I never told him about my feelings, he is still the man I love the most.
I fell in love once again, may be just to prove that its possible to love more than one person at a time. This time I was happy, my new man was also in love with me. He was handsome, soft spoken and with a terrific sense of humor.
So, our love story continued to grow…
After 8 long years of being together, he finally decided that I am not the girl his mom would like to have as the daughter-in-law; so in a minute he spelt out his verdict, and I was out of his life for ever.
Wait a minute, why I am writing all these! Have I lost hope on life? On love? On trust?
Yes, I was shaken when I realized what has happened to me once we broke-off. I was mad, I was angry, I was helpless. I felt like I was fooled for all these years, taken for a ride and exploited. I cursed, blamed and cried. The end result that followed was that I got sick, my pillow got soaked, and I lost touch with the outside world.
No, that’s not the end of the story.
On one of those innumerable sleepless nights, I suddenly realized that I am actually feeling better – of being free, liberated, and not in constant apprehension of losing someone by displeasing him with my actions. Wow! Isn’t that great! I have lost 8 of my precious years on someone who didn’t deserve it, but hey! I have another 10, 20, 30 … years of life to myself !
So, I CTRL Z my memory of these 8 years (I borrowed this from a dear friend!) converting the man into a bean pole, and open up all the windows in my life…
Do I need another Man in life? I am sure I do! But, I am in no hurry. May be someday I shall cross path with yet another man, and shall begin my next love story…
I fell in love once again, may be just to prove that its possible to love more than one person at a time. This time I was happy, my new man was also in love with me. He was handsome, soft spoken and with a terrific sense of humor.
So, our love story continued to grow…
After 8 long years of being together, he finally decided that I am not the girl his mom would like to have as the daughter-in-law; so in a minute he spelt out his verdict, and I was out of his life for ever.
Wait a minute, why I am writing all these! Have I lost hope on life? On love? On trust?
Yes, I was shaken when I realized what has happened to me once we broke-off. I was mad, I was angry, I was helpless. I felt like I was fooled for all these years, taken for a ride and exploited. I cursed, blamed and cried. The end result that followed was that I got sick, my pillow got soaked, and I lost touch with the outside world.
No, that’s not the end of the story.
On one of those innumerable sleepless nights, I suddenly realized that I am actually feeling better – of being free, liberated, and not in constant apprehension of losing someone by displeasing him with my actions. Wow! Isn’t that great! I have lost 8 of my precious years on someone who didn’t deserve it, but hey! I have another 10, 20, 30 … years of life to myself !
So, I CTRL Z my memory of these 8 years (I borrowed this from a dear friend!) converting the man into a bean pole, and open up all the windows in my life…
Do I need another Man in life? I am sure I do! But, I am in no hurry. May be someday I shall cross path with yet another man, and shall begin my next love story…
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
14th Feb - The Lonely Hearts’ Day
14th Feb is Valentine’s Day. It is supposed to be a special day for people in love. The air is “filled” with “love” created quite effectively by different companies through their advertisements for various products and promotions; and all men and women who are in love, are, supposedly, waiting for the “D-day” to come – to express their love with diamonds, flowers, perfumes, dinners, holidays, etc. etc. etc.
Ok, so 14th Feb is the only day when you can tell your beloved one how much you love him, I mean materially; and therefore, if one cant afford to give an expensive present (from the innumerable ones being displayed on newspapers daily) she stands the chance of losing her sweet heart to a more prosperous opponent. Simple - if you can’t afford, you lose!
So…
What about those people who don’t have that special person in life? Someone who is lonely, alone and may be has lost her beloved sometimes back? Imagine the pain she will go through remembering the old days of togetherness – the last valentine’s day together, the candle light dinner, the walk on the terrace and the purple flower that her boy friend had given her at the end of the day when she had stopped expecting a gift from him…
Or, take for example, someone who is yet to find her boyfriend/lover/sweet heart... Will she feel lonelier on this day? More sad at her single status, more upset at not being liked by at least one person on this earth for so long in life?
Who knows? And who cares?
May be on a valentine days we are not supposed to remember these people – they don’t form the target audience of these uncountable products and services that do millions of rupees of business on this occasion.
Besides, beyond the tinted glass, the real world is always boring, dull and color-less.
Ok, so 14th Feb is the only day when you can tell your beloved one how much you love him, I mean materially; and therefore, if one cant afford to give an expensive present (from the innumerable ones being displayed on newspapers daily) she stands the chance of losing her sweet heart to a more prosperous opponent. Simple - if you can’t afford, you lose!
So…
What about those people who don’t have that special person in life? Someone who is lonely, alone and may be has lost her beloved sometimes back? Imagine the pain she will go through remembering the old days of togetherness – the last valentine’s day together, the candle light dinner, the walk on the terrace and the purple flower that her boy friend had given her at the end of the day when she had stopped expecting a gift from him…
Or, take for example, someone who is yet to find her boyfriend/lover/sweet heart... Will she feel lonelier on this day? More sad at her single status, more upset at not being liked by at least one person on this earth for so long in life?
Who knows? And who cares?
May be on a valentine days we are not supposed to remember these people – they don’t form the target audience of these uncountable products and services that do millions of rupees of business on this occasion.
Besides, beyond the tinted glass, the real world is always boring, dull and color-less.
Friday, February 09, 2007
I have plenty of Friends
Being a Sagittarius, I make plenty of friends all the time. And being a Sagittarius, I even call an acquaintance my friend!
My relationship with most of them last a life time. No, I am not the universal friend who sleeps, breaths and lives friendship…I simply understand each one them just a little to well.
Over the years that I have seen people (and called them my Friends) I have discovered that there are actually different kinds of them available. Since I didn’t have much work to do today (as if I always work!), I made a list of them. I would really like to know what you think of this J
Here is the list of different kinds of ‘friends’ (strictly my understanding)
“Will have fun, but don’t ask for help” – the most common of the species
“I will be your friend so long I get something from you” – a plenty of them
“I am all eyes and ears to you but can’t wait to vomit them on others as soon as you leave” even guys!
“Friendship! Who cares? Lets sleep..” – The easiest ones to find
“I am jealous of you, that’s why I am your friend” – My God!
“Will stand by you whatever happens” - a very few
“Will give you a patient hearing to all your stories without passing any judgment” – very very rare
“the soul mate” – I found and lost L
At present, I am surrounded by all them except the last one. And the things that I have learnt from them are that, you need all these types of friends in your life, because they not only add variety to your life, but they also provide you with a crash course in recognizing people whom you otherwise meet or deal with.
Besides, you can always pick and chose the one for a day depending your mood and requirements…see, I have already learnt quite a lot !!!!
What do you think ?
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Make your own Rainbow!
I paint a rainbow everyday and every night I wipe it off.
No, this is not a negative statement. In fact it’s a very positive one – it shows that I look forward to every morning to paint a brighter rainbow. And if I say that it’s been all my effort alone, it will be incorrect. There have been some incredible people who have helped me by handing over to me the correct brush and the color, at the right time.
My rainbow has so many colors – the yellow and the pink; the red and the purple, the green and the gold, the white and the violet… but it doesn’t have the color blue!
Whenever I try to paint my rainbow with blue, a friend of mine will appear on the horizon. He will wipe of the blue and paint it yellow or red or pink. I got so fed up with them, that after a while, I gave up – I don’t stock blue any more!
My rainbows are becoming more colorful with each passing day. Yesterday I had painted it with yellow. Today my favorite color is pink…
And who says a rainbow needs to have only 7 colors?
No, this is not a negative statement. In fact it’s a very positive one – it shows that I look forward to every morning to paint a brighter rainbow. And if I say that it’s been all my effort alone, it will be incorrect. There have been some incredible people who have helped me by handing over to me the correct brush and the color, at the right time.
My rainbow has so many colors – the yellow and the pink; the red and the purple, the green and the gold, the white and the violet… but it doesn’t have the color blue!
Whenever I try to paint my rainbow with blue, a friend of mine will appear on the horizon. He will wipe of the blue and paint it yellow or red or pink. I got so fed up with them, that after a while, I gave up – I don’t stock blue any more!
My rainbows are becoming more colorful with each passing day. Yesterday I had painted it with yellow. Today my favorite color is pink…
And who says a rainbow needs to have only 7 colors?
Thursday, February 01, 2007
The Conditions of Unconditional Love: my explanations
A friend of mine read my last post and said “oh, u don’t believe in relations!” Does my writing evoke that feeling? I realized I need to elaborate on my thoughts .
My Didibhai (my grandmom – mother’s mother) was married when she was 16. That was 1943. My granddad was 21. My mom is their only child. My granddad had a transferable job and has lived across the country, with my didibhai following him like a dutiful wife.
My grand dad passed away in 1978, when I was just a small child. And since my mom didn’t have any other siblings, my didibhai came to stay with us. I literally grew up with her. And she found solace in me and my brother and devoted all her life for both of us.
I lost my didibhai on May 1, 2002.
For 24 years she stayed with us doing everything possible a grandmom can do and at most times doing much more than that. Her whole universe circled around our family and its well being. (Sadly though, we all took her for granted, always thinking she is there anytime we need her; sometimes even forgetting that she also has some needs in life.)
During all these years that she was there with us, I have never seen her going to bed at night without once thinking about her husband…and more the time passed, her feelings about her husband, who was no more, grew stronger. She was his partner for 35 years when he was alive, and she was still a partner to him for another 24 years until she died.
Looking back and thinking about her, I realize that on her part she was only imparting unconditional love – to her husband, the family that she was forced to adopt post her husband’s death and above all my brother and me. This was unconditional because her love was not based on any expectations – from any one of us. She did it because she knew that to be the only way to love and give.
When I write “Conditions of Unconditional Love” I do not necessarily mean that I (or we) are only on the receiving end. I give my self the “condition” that if I love someone or something it has to be without any expectations. It’s a great challenge, but whether I want to take that challenge or not, it’s entirely up to me, because at the end of the day, all I need is a peaceful sleep.
(I am sure everyone has seen someone like my didibhai in their life…may be we are too busy to reshuffle our thoughts and dig their memories out. But believe me, it’s worth the effort)
My Didibhai (my grandmom – mother’s mother) was married when she was 16. That was 1943. My granddad was 21. My mom is their only child. My granddad had a transferable job and has lived across the country, with my didibhai following him like a dutiful wife.
My grand dad passed away in 1978, when I was just a small child. And since my mom didn’t have any other siblings, my didibhai came to stay with us. I literally grew up with her. And she found solace in me and my brother and devoted all her life for both of us.
I lost my didibhai on May 1, 2002.
For 24 years she stayed with us doing everything possible a grandmom can do and at most times doing much more than that. Her whole universe circled around our family and its well being. (Sadly though, we all took her for granted, always thinking she is there anytime we need her; sometimes even forgetting that she also has some needs in life.)
During all these years that she was there with us, I have never seen her going to bed at night without once thinking about her husband…and more the time passed, her feelings about her husband, who was no more, grew stronger. She was his partner for 35 years when he was alive, and she was still a partner to him for another 24 years until she died.
Looking back and thinking about her, I realize that on her part she was only imparting unconditional love – to her husband, the family that she was forced to adopt post her husband’s death and above all my brother and me. This was unconditional because her love was not based on any expectations – from any one of us. She did it because she knew that to be the only way to love and give.
When I write “Conditions of Unconditional Love” I do not necessarily mean that I (or we) are only on the receiving end. I give my self the “condition” that if I love someone or something it has to be without any expectations. It’s a great challenge, but whether I want to take that challenge or not, it’s entirely up to me, because at the end of the day, all I need is a peaceful sleep.
(I am sure everyone has seen someone like my didibhai in their life…may be we are too busy to reshuffle our thoughts and dig their memories out. But believe me, it’s worth the effort)
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