I am not scared of disappointments anymore; but maybe I am scared of good things happening in life. I end up resisting good things coming to me and then I end up pushing them back even if I had got some of them by mistake.
It’s not that I am being negative; but its simply that I am striving to move towards a phase where I will be rid of all expectations. In Hindu philosophy, this could be what sages described as ‘Nirvana’, but for me, this is simple survival tactics.
I stopped believing in miracles. Some of you may say that being born and living in this world is miracle by itself. But I don’t actually subscribe to that thought. I was born because of my parents, and I wouldn’t have been me, if they were not my parents; or if they had chosen not to have me.
So, when it’s a matter of chance, there is no scope for miracles.
A friend of mine told me that my problems lie within. Perhaps he is true. I might be carrying my problems. As a rational human being I have tried to understand the biology and the psychology of human beings and how their thinking pattern evolves over the period of time. And going by that, I disagree with my friend. No, the problem is NOT within me. But, I am within the problem. I am not trying to get rid of my responsibilities; rather I am looking forward to my responsibility of fixing where I am – the problem, I mean.
From a more emotional and personal point of view, I don’t really see any problem. That’s a good thing and a bad thing. I am only trying to believe that people are different with different thinking habits, patterns, capabilities which are more influenced by culture, upbringing, education, open mindedness, adaptability, etc - and the smart thing to do is to accept and understand these differences among people around us. And if that is possible, then we will not tell someone else, what is his/her problem and where it lies. We can, however, most certainly, try to help them solve their problem if we are asked to do so. But until then, it’s wise to be managing our own problems and fixing them for good.
